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You can never control what people think about you

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Today in the meeting, a bright young woman courageously raised the issue of how to navigate in life when you can never control what other people will think about you. You always risk losing the approval, acceptance and love that you think you can get from someone else. Every step you take you potentially risk being ostracized from society, and essentially even risk your very survival. The pressure to make the ‘right’ decision, and to avoid ‘wrong’ actions or words, is so strong that it can even paralyze us.
At some point we have to see that there is no way of controlling other people’s perspectives. They too are looking for approval and acceptance. They, just like us, simply don’t know. There is no authority ‘out there’ that can tell us how to live or whether we are ok. We can never rely on anyone else, and we will never get the final stamp of approval from anyone else, because they are all just as lost as we are. At some point we have to come to see that our own not-knowing, is the only authority to really know.

Unmani
www.die-to-love.com

Thought tries to hijack everything

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When you understand the nature of thought, that it can only fit whatever is heard, recognised or experienced into what has been previously understood or labelled, you can see that it can not do anything else. It will always try to hijack everything, but who you are is always free, no matter what.

Unmani
www.die-to-love.com

Thought believes it can protect me

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Thought believes that it can protect me. Thought believes that there is a safe place away from here. Thought imagines that tomorrow will be better, that somewhere, with someone else, will be perfect. If only I can figure it all out, then I will finally be able to relax….
But in the meantime, whether we like it or not, Life is simply a wild unprotected, out-of-control, wondrously timeless mystery.

Unmani
www.die-to-love.com

Dancing on the surface

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Many so-called seekers are dancing on the surface, tasting many flowers, but never really courageously dive deep into what is real right here now. This comes from a idea that “something ‘more’ might satisfy me one day if I keep looking out there”. It is an endless agitated energy that will never be satisfied. It will always be looking for the next fix. If you really want to explore what is true, at some point you need to stop and feel what is here, instead of continuing to dance to the next flower. Feel that agitated energy when it comes up, rather than just blindly following it.

Unmani
www.die-to-love.com

A Beggar for Approval

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When we believe that we need others approval, love or acceptance, we are like beggars. We believe that what is, is not enough, and that what we need is in someone else’s hands. Without the crumbs of attention that someone else might occasionally throw at us, we are bereft, lonely and generally lacking. This has perhaps become such an old habit, to energetically reach out there, that we have forgotten how to really meet the other, and more importantly, meet ourselves in whatever is really felt. Beyond this old habit, there is the genuine longing to meet beyond all boundaries. But it requires giving up the position of need which has felt so safe and familiar for so long. Without that position we just don’t know how to interact anymore. And in that not-knowing, there is the openness to meet and be met as we truly long for.

Unmani
www.die-to-love.com