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A Teacher or Facilitator

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People will either put so-called ‘teachers’ up on a pedestal position, or will crash them down and trash them. Both are an illusory, and both are a way of not meeting directly whatever is here.
Although it does seem that I am teaching, or rather facilitating, something, the message is really about seeing through any boundaries or positions, including my own.

If you really have a passion for the truth, you will question any and every position that you find yourself protecting or defending.

It is an endless losing any position that you think you are standing in.

I have no choice but to live like this myself and it leaves nothing to hold on to. Absolute vulnerability, and endless humility (and even humiliation). Being open to being touched by it all. And simultaneously, the knowing that the whole thing is simply a play of itself.

I find myself playing the role of the facilitator for people in their exploration into the truth of who they are. And every time I sit with someone, the truth is that they are always me. It is always an exploration into myself, and every person is always playing it out in me. When it is interpreted by thought, it is misunderstood again and again, in one way or another. It is mistakenly assumed that it is about me as some kind of special person, or that it is about having some kind of special experience. But when it is recognised and resonated with, there is a meeting the wholeness of Life itself, beyond you or me, beyond all the words, concepts, boundaries, and positions.

Unmani
www.die-to-love.com

Two Strands to ‘Waking Up’

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There are two strands to waking up in this life: recognising who you really are as Life itself, and then the living of that in the human experience. If you try to find a position in one strand more than the other, then there will be an imbalance, that will eventually have to come to balance somehow. You can not rest in the Absolute and escape the human experience forever. And you can not endlessly try to fix the human experience, and overlook that it is all only a play in the Absolute. Either way you will feel that something is missing and out of balance.

‘Being Triggered’

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argumentSometimes things get triggered or touched, and then it all feels so overwhelmingly important. You notice that you are being drawn into a certain familiar energetic dance that feels tense or painful, and yet has a certain exciting flavour to it. It is all so mesmerising and trance-like…
You watch yourself play out the childish games to try to get what you think you want, or need. The need to be right, or to maintain a certain position becomes more important than what is real. You watch yourself react from pain or fear, but the cover-up-games mask the desperate longing for a resolution to that pain or fear.

And at some point there is a break in the clouds. A moment when you realise that there will never be a satisfactory resolution to the story being told. A moment when it is suddenly possible to risk being honest about what is really felt or longed for. The pain is acknowledged. The embarrassment or humiliation is felt. The body shakes, cries or laughs. There is a seeing of the whole dance.

Nothing wrong has happened. None of it meant anything about you. It was simply an old friend that came to visit for a while, and then left. Don’t worry, they will be back again some day. There is no need to, or no point in punishing yourself for being entranced or reacting like that. In that moment you couldn’t do anything else. The possibility for honesty was simply not there at that moment. When it was, it was.

As you see in more and more situations that it is hopeless to try to find a resolution in a thought-story or belief, the more there is possibility for honesty with what is actually being touched. There is the endless discovery that there is never any real satisfying nourishment from being ‘right’ or from proving a point. Although it can be uncomfortable, the only real nourishment is in acknowledging what is really here.

Unmani, 13th April, 2014
www.die-to-love.com

Freedom despite it all

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We are often searching for so-called ‘Freedom’. But more often than not, it is freedom from something that we believe is keeping us imprisoned. The Freedom I am interested in is not any kind of ‘freedom from…’ – it is ‘Freedom despite…’ It is the Freedom that doesn’t depend on the any particular experience. It is the Freedom that doesn’t wait for a change in circumstances, that doesn’t depend on a certain mood, or state of mind. This is the radical Freedom in knowing that there is no escape from the experience just as it is.

The Attachment Paradox

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Sometimes people talk about how we should not be attached to possessions, experiences, the body, places, people… But there is a natural attachment, or a being touched, by these things. It is natural to feel touched being with someone you love, or enjoying a new outfit, or new house. It is natural to feel hurt when someone leaves you, or annoyed when your favourite object breaks. It is not this natural ‘being touched’ that is the problem, it is the layer of drama around it. It is the story of ‘me’ around it that builds up this drama and makes it all seem, and feel, very serious and meaningful to ‘me’. When the thinking turns an experience or feeling into a ‘story of me’, or identity, it starts to feel dramatic and exciting. It starts to feel all about ‘me’ and how special I am. Then the natural ‘being touched’ is so overlaid by the story that the original feeling is no longer really felt.
Being without attachment, means being totally utterly touched by life again and again to the point that it cracks your heart open, and at the same time knowing that it is all totally and utterly meaningless.
The thinking can not do this. You can not try to make this happen. It is simply in acknowledging the awful truth of this paradox that you see that this is how life is already, whether you like it or not.