Whether it is to a god, or a guru, a teacher or a lover, we love to surrender totally. This is why the devotional path is so popular in some religions and cultures, and also becoming more popular in the West. We long to surrender. It does not matter to what or to whom, it is the very act of surrender which sacrifices all arrogance and separation to the altar of Life. In the act of surrender the protecting game is exposed for what it is. In surrendering totally to a guru or to a lover, there is no inside and no outside, no guru or lover. In the total surrender, all that is left is Love. We long to disappear or to lose ourselves completely and yet we also run from it in terror. If we surrender completely then we will lose all control, all limits and all identity. We are terrified of this possibility and yet we are exhausted with the effort of maintaining and defending a separate identity.
In Western culture usually we have too much pride to bow down and surrender to someone else. The word “surrender” is often interpreted as admitting defeat or being weak. But surrendering means falling into the total openness of who you are. This is not weak and is in no way any kind of defeat. This is recognising that you are life itself. Recognising that you have no boundaries, mental, emotional or physical, and knowing yourself as wide beyond any limiting sense of self you might have. No longer relying on thoughts, beliefs and assumptions. No longer finding any safety in what you think. Surrender is losing everything so that all that is left is Life happening presently.
Surrender is intimacy, vulnerability. Exposing that you don’t know, and perhaps that you are really quite scared and lost. There is an absolute strength and power in that open vulnerability. Recognise the openness that seems to be covered up with ideas of who you think you are and who you pretend to be, and know that who you really are can never be hurt or undermined. You are life itself. Surrender is standing aside and no longer pretending to know it all and be in control. Standing aside and letting Life take you over and engulf you completely. There is no one to defend or protect, there is only vulnerable, unhidden, and undefended Self. If there is pain there is pain, if the is joy there is joy, but no matter what happens, there is no barrier and no escape from what is. Whether thought agrees or not, there is an absolute in-loveness with what is, no matter what. Life doing you. This is Love.
Thought tries to do the surrender. This is not what I mean. You can not do this surrender. It is recognising the surrender that is already. Recognising that there is no ‘you’ here to do anything and see that this is already the surrender. This is already the Love. It is too late to try either to hold on or to surrender. Life is already absolute surrender right now. There is no god, guru, teacher or lover. There are no boundaries which separate you from anything or anyone else. Simply an in-loveness with what is.
All is lost. A dying into what is right now. This is surrender. What we call awakening is actually being touched so deeply by what is, that it destroys your life. Everything, without exception, is lost to right now.
Dare to let Life take you. Lose yourself and know what Love is.
Unmani
